No. I won’t answer the phone if you call.

Feelings: anger, resentment, fear, anxiety

Needs: predictability, trust, healing, self-connection, peace

I did that (mean thing) because you left me no choice.

Feelings: defensive, disconnected

Needs: peace, safety, acceptance

I hate you

Feelings: rage, anger, hurt, grief, fear, overwhelm, panicky

Needs: healing, empathy, predictability, security, safety, clarity, support

Get out

Feelings: angry, defensiveness, overwhelmed, scared, insecure

Needs: autonomy, safety, regulation, peace, security

Your room is such a disgusting mess! I should just throw everything in the trash.

Feelings: disappointed, frustrated, worried
Needs: order, responsibility, collaboration, appreciation

Your problem is that you won't tell me what you want.

Feelings: sad, impatient
Needs: bonding, connection

You're such a control freak.

Feelings: stressed, frustrated
Needs: autonomy, respect

You're so arrogant [full of yourself, egotistical]!

Feelings: frustrated, hurt, angry
Needs: consideration, to be seen/heard, mutuality

You're psychotic!

Feelings: nervous, confused, frightened, angry
Needs: compassion, clarity, predictability

You're psychoanalyzing me, and my life!

Feelings: angry, disconnected, defensive
Needs: respect, privacy, autonomy, consideration

You're pissing me off!

Feelings: anger, frustration
Needs: understanding, cooperation

You're not hearing me!

Feelings: frustrated, lonely
Needs: to be seen/heard, empathy, connection

You're not getting me right now.

Feelings: disheartened, discouraged, frustrated
Needs: to be seen/heard, mutuality, collaboration

You're not being generous enough.

Feelings: disappointment, guilt
Needs: contribution, effectiveness

You're just jealous.

Feelings: defensive, hurt, disheartened
Needs: acknowledgment, harmony, acceptance

You're afraid to take risks.

Feelings: downhearted, hopeless, worry
Needs: purpose, stimulation, contribution

You're a child molester!

Feelings: horror, fear, grief, shock
Needs: respect, safety, peace, healing

You withdraw when you are upset because you are trying to punish me.

Feelings: resentful, afraid
Needs: connection, security, safety

You will keep the house clean and the way I want it, or I'm not living here!

Feelings: angry, disappointed
Needs: cleanliness, support

You were wrong not to tell me about the broken dishes.

Feelings: anger, disappointment
Needs: honesty, respect