I'm stupid!
Feelings: dejected, fearful
Needs: success, happiness
Feelings: dejected, fearful
Needs: success, happiness
I'm incompetent! I can't understand this!
Feelings: frustration, anxious
Needs: contribution, autonomy, clarity
Feelings: frustration, anxious
Needs: contribution, autonomy, clarity
It's my fault we broke up.
Feelings: despair, anguish, ashamed
Needs: understanding, empathy, compassion, reassurance
Feelings: despair, anguish, ashamed
Needs: understanding, empathy, compassion, reassurance
It's all your fault!
Feelings: embarrassed, anxious
Needs: predictability, collaboration, acceptance
Feelings: embarrassed, anxious
Needs: predictability, collaboration, acceptance
Invalidated
Feelings: resentful, sad, dejected
Needs: to be seen/heard, respect, acknowledgment
Feelings: resentful, sad, dejected
Needs: to be seen/heard, respect, acknowledgment
It is my responsibility [to fix this].
Feelings: guilty, apprehensive, concerned
Needs: integrity, predictability, contribution
Feelings: guilty, apprehensive, concerned
Needs: integrity, predictability, contribution
Is that really your best effort?!?!
Feelings: disappointment, embarrassment
Needs: contribution, competency
Feelings: disappointment, embarrassment
Needs: contribution, competency
Irresponsible
Feelings: frustration, disappointment, anger, fear
Needs: collaboration, predictability, preservation of life, peace, support, mutuality
Feelings: frustration, disappointment, anger, fear
Needs: collaboration, predictability, preservation of life, peace, support, mutuality
Intimidated
Feelings: scared, anxious
Needs: safety, equality, support, empowerment
Feelings: scared, anxious
Needs: safety, equality, support, empowerment
If you don't help me clean, we won't be able to spend time together!
Feelings: frustrated, anxious,
Needs: cooperation, cleanliness, connection, peace
Feelings: frustrated, anxious,
Needs: cooperation, cleanliness, connection, peace
If I were more disciplined, I would exercise regularly.
Feelings: frustrated, disappointed, guilty
Needs: health, self-respect
Feelings: frustrated, disappointed, guilty
Needs: health, self-respect
I'm sorry, I'm tired.
Feelings: resigned, hopeless, resentful, exasperated, shut down, grief stricken
Needs: hope, growth, connection, ease, acknowledgment, appreciation
Feelings: resigned, hopeless, resentful, exasperated, shut down, grief stricken
Needs: hope, growth, connection, ease, acknowledgment, appreciation
I'm not going to be a very good department chair.
Feelings: apprehensive, anxious
Needs: competence, respect, belonging
Feelings: apprehensive, anxious
Needs: competence, respect, belonging
I'm jealous!
Feelings: insecure, angry, anxious
Needs: reassurance, fairness, love
Feelings: insecure, angry, anxious
Needs: reassurance, fairness, love
I would like to hear you say I was right.
Feelings: pain, hurt, sadness, frustration
Needs: to be seen/heard, trust,
Feelings: pain, hurt, sadness, frustration
Needs: to be seen/heard, trust,
I work hard! I deserve to come home to a clean house.
Feelings: disappointed, exhausted, resentful
Needs: ease, mutuality, support
Feelings: disappointed, exhausted, resentful
Needs: ease, mutuality, support
I talk too much!
Feelings: embarrassed, worry
Needs: feedback, mutuality, contribution
Feelings: embarrassed, worry
Needs: feedback, mutuality, contribution