Left out

Feelings: sad, lonely, anxious
Needs: community, inclusion, belonging

I'm stupid!

Feelings: dejected, fearful
Needs: success, happiness

I'm incompetent! I can't understand this!

Feelings: frustration, anxious
Needs: contribution, autonomy, clarity

It's my fault we broke up.

Feelings: despair, anguish, ashamed
Needs: understanding, empathy, compassion, reassurance

It's all your fault!

Feelings: embarrassed, anxious
Needs: predictability, collaboration, acceptance

Invalidated

Feelings: resentful, sad, dejected
Needs: to be seen/heard, respect, acknowledgment

It is my responsibility [to fix this].

Feelings: guilty, apprehensive, concerned
Needs: integrity, predictability, contribution

Is that really your best effort?!?!

Feelings: disappointment, embarrassment
Needs: contribution, competency

Irresponsible

Feelings: frustration, disappointment, anger, fear
Needs: collaboration, predictability, preservation of life, peace, support, mutuality

Intimidated

Feelings: scared, anxious
Needs: safety, equality, support, empowerment

Insulted

Feelings: angry, hurt, disappointed
Needs: respect, to be seen/heard, acknowledgment

Ignored

Feelings: lonely, scared, hurt, sad, embarrassed
Needs: connection, to be seen/heard, inclusion, belonging

If you don't help me clean, we won't be able to spend time together!

Feelings: frustrated, anxious, 
Needs: cooperation, cleanliness, connection, peace

If I were more disciplined, I would exercise regularly.

Feelings: frustrated, disappointed, guilty
Needs: health, self-respect

I'm sorry, I'm tired.

Feelings: resigned, hopeless, resentful, exasperated, shut down, grief stricken
Needs: hope, growth, connection, ease, acknowledgment, appreciation

I'm not going to be a very good department chair.

Feelings: apprehensive, anxious
Needs: competence, respect, belonging

I'm jealous!

Feelings: insecure, angry, anxious
Needs: reassurance, fairness, love

I would like to hear you say I was right.

Feelings: pain, hurt, sadness, frustration
Needs: to be seen/heard, trust, 

I work hard! I deserve to come home to a clean house.

Feelings: disappointed, exhausted, resentful
Needs: ease, mutuality, support

I talk too much!

Feelings: embarrassed, worry
Needs: feedback, mutuality, contribution